The Break Room

Is there a more pathetic spot around? In most offices, it’s a small, cramped place with shiny linoleum tiles which reflect the glaring fluorescent tube lights like a solar flare. Seriously, we need sunscreen on our skin to hang out in these places.

Add to that a couple of vending machines full of crappy food & soda. Then toss in a gossipy group of people who are “cuttin’ loose” during their breaks, and the decibels rise close to that of famed Who concert levels.

Oh, and then there is the community microwave, full of so many bits of caked-on leftovers/uncovered chunky soup splatterings, and the unwashed dishes in the sink. Yuck. Don't forget about the three-month-old moldy food rotting away all over the fridge. What a wonderful smell!

Such a depressing place to spend one's free time.

Six Songs

For a Friday afternoon:

Roulette Girl – Mary Prankster
She’s Got Issues – The Offspring
Girls Got Rhythm – AC/DC
Love Stinks – J. Geils Band
Tell That Girl To Shut Up – Transvision Vamp
Erica Kane – Urge Overkill

Hmmm... It may look as though a theme exists, but I swear it's just a coincidence. Maybe the first song set the tone subconsciously.

Let me know your six songs.

2! Minutes!! To Kebabs!!!

Sorry, but that's how real songs end up in this house: 2 Minutes To Midnight by Maiden becomes a chant for kebobs headed for the grill. Other classics:

"Put The Sodas In The Fridge!" (from that song by Drowning Pool, sung as we moved all of our crap from the apartment into our new house - first-time buyers' discount and all)

"Woo Hoo, BLACK UNDIES!" (Stevie Newton-John will recognize this as Black Diamond by KISS. Everyone should rest easy knowing that it wasn't sung about me.)

"'Scuse me, while I kiss this guy!" or "Scuse me, while I eat this fly!" (Classic derivitaves from Purple Haze that we've all heard before.)

From the song "So Alive" by Love & Rockets, there were plenty of laughs that I won't repeat here due to the crude sophomoric nature. Don't get the idea that I don't laugh my ass off when they pop into my head. I'll just keep it to myself for now.

I'm laughing again, fixated on those songs. More to follow...